ESP 366 Testimony

I would like to say something. Before coming to the very first class I read QBQ and something started to change. I actually do not like this kind of book because they usually say the same thing, but QBQ was like a scolding. I had that victim feeling (and I still have sometimes) but I started to ask why. Why am I a victim? Who is my torturer? And the answer for these questions was me. I tried to fit myself in standards that I would never be appropriate; I tried to be somebody else. Why? Finally, I did not have a plausible answer for this question. I had some, actually, but none could justify the victim feeling.

I realized finally that I would not be frustrated if I try to be myself, act the way I do, and do not care about it. I tried a couple of times and many other things were built in my mind ever since. I could see my face, I could like it and I could see the entire way I had walked to be here. Each day my image looks more polished, more powerful to me. I feel like I had unchained my soul and now I am becoming everything I wanted: Free. Sometimes I still try to chain myself in somebody else`s image, since this kind of change does not happen in a couple of days, but now I know what was wrong with me. I will have to experience many failures and disappointments to become more confident of this image I discovered, but it is easier when you know that you can only fit yourself.

I know that it is not about brushing your teeth with the left hand, but I definitely feel something different going on in my brain, and I would like to share it with you.

Pureness and Power

So, today I took a decision like I use to do... I had to choose between wait the bus or walk 40 minutes to Walmart. I prefered walk. I didn`t know the buildings around the hipermarket, so it seemed that was so far away and I almost regretted my decision. But it`s interesting how I felt good when I arrived. I felt like pure and powerful. I mean, I felt like I had been alone for 40 minutes and I didn`t have any interesting thought, I didn`t planned anything else besides arrive my destiny. And I got it.
It`s hard to feel powerful and pure, since the pureness is something that is not under or over anything, unlike power. So I wonder the kind of power I felt. The power I have over myself, just thinking about nothing and get what I wanted. So pure mind, so powerfull body. I`m good today.